Genderwhat
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There are multiple mages on the wiki names "Genderwhat". You may be looking for:
Genderwhat (Neurogender)
One's gender is indistinguishable due to their neurodivergence.
Genderwhat (Xenogender)
One knows that they have a gender, but they don't know what it is, so they continue to search for and/or hoard xenogenders to find it.